Sell Me a Story -DANOZ Direct's James Cheney

Sell Me a Story
James Cheney - salesman extraordinaire

Dawn is breaking over Sydney. Inside the Channel Ten studios, the lights >are on and the cameras are rolling. The production crew are under pressure. They have precious little time to film the new infomercial for' The Magic Bullet'- DANOZ Direct's hottest product.

The presenter has fluffed his lines, again. Cut. He's clearly struggling. But no one seems to mind -his bumbling antics have the production team in hysterics. Just who is this lovable novice of telesales?

He is James Cheney, a seller of dreams; and just about everything else. From coolrooms, to ABswings, steambrushes to slicers, and ribbon decorating kits to his favourite product; joy; James will make you want it and feel good wanting it. 

James Cheney is not of the polished breed we are used to seeing on our screens. He's short with ginger hair and beady eyes. He wears a Sex Pistols T-shirt. His voice is sharp and his speech frantic. 

Yet DANOZ Direct, old hats in the television marketing game, have done away with their slick stable of television pros and anointed James as their sole presenter.

'Which puts me under a lot of pressure' - he says, looking slightly overwhelmed.

The company's faith in James is not blind. 'We tested James. His sales exceeded our current presenters. Because of the good results, we stopped airing the other presenters' says Alan Meyerson, a producer at DANOZ. 'He has a real relationship with his customer. He relates to them and suggests that he enjoys it, If he likes it, I can like it too. He's very natural.'

He's also an entertainer. Business analysts from the Television Shopping Network, who also run adverts featuring James, have commented that James brings entertainment to their channel- something they have felt has always been lacking.

'My focus has been to develop the more entertaining side of myself', he says. 

James spent the weekend at a comedy course run by NIDA. 'Funny school'- he calls it. 'It's quite serious'- he says blankly, before releasing a cheeky smile.

James' charm and ability to sell are the reasons he has found himself on television.

'Selling is such a negative word, it's the changing of emotion -that's a better word for it' he says without sounding the least bit like a salesman.

James grew up in Adelaide and left home when he was 18. He spent his entire adult life peddling anything he felt he could sell, in any possible way. He's been all over Australia, Canada and South Africa. He also served a sales apprenticeship under the infamous Shanghai Charlie- the gadget man' -whose fortunes were documented on '60 minutes. That was sixteen years ago when he had an epiphany - 'I thought, if he can do this, I can do this' he says.

He met his wife in 1993 at the Canada Exhibition, while he was flogging a ribbon decorating kit to a stagnant craft industry. She now assists him in raising three and a half year old Molly and two year old George, and in running a sales and promotion business - which boasts food giants Nestle as a client. 

Less than a year ago James was busted by the wholesale director of DANOZ, selling their fitness products directly to the public in a local shopping centre. James did such a good job fending off the threat of legal action that DANOZ offered him a guest spot as a presenter on their 'Good Morning Australia' Summer Series adverts.

He did have television experience, but not much. James once had the lead role in an AGL advert, where he reverses a trailer into a bathtub, and made cameo appearance in a KFC Christmas promotion. He has plenty of experience in direct selling though , and DANOZ were happy to give him a shot. 'He had a measurable impact, 'It boosted sales by enough to know that he has effected sales' says Myerson of James' debut on the 'Summer Series'. His performance would eventually lead the DANOZ directors to rewrite their presenter roster.

One thing James doesn't like to sell is himself. 'I'm very humble; it's taken me a long time to believe in myself '.According to Myerson, James never watches himself on the screen. "I'm very uncomfortable with it' James says, 'I don't feel that I've done the best I can, I don't have that audience to get that instant response'

Despite his aversion for the screen, James appears on television at some stage every day, either on Channel 9 or 10.

Does he have any fans?

'No. It's hot in here'

Most of his jokes are this bad, but that might be why we like to listen to him